Don't Question Oda
by Inferno 54
Summary: Sometimes, you question things you shouldn't... This time, Zoro pays the price. If Luffy and Nami have Strong World, what does Zoro have?


Well, this is about the time I was suposed to be to posting that Big LuNa everyone's been waiting for... But, there's a long series of events that led to why that's not being posted yet. I'll give you the short version SCHOOL SUCKS. D=( Anyway, here's a One Piece ficlet for ya. A oneshot describing why you should never question Oda... And trust me, Our History WILL be posted by December 13th, that is the absolute latest. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy the sadistic Nature of this story!  
>The idea for this fic was inspired by one of myfriends questions. "If Luffy and Nami have Strong World, what does Zoro have? She's expecting romance, she's not getting it. xD<p>

Disclaimor: One Piece is Owned by Eiichiro Oda. If I owned One Piece, LuNa would be everwhere, as would heavy Yuri implications, so trust me, you probably don't want that to happen. Just stick with Oda.

Don't Question Oda.

Just another day in New World… Smooth seas for a few hours, then in a blink of an eye, we were dealing with hurricane winds, and harsh rain falling so hard each drop felt as if a needle was trying to pierce your skin. And it just _had_ to happen while I was taking a nap on deck, fucking wonderful.

I don't know what woke me up first, the thunder, the rain, or Nami's incessant bitching for me to 'get of my lazy ass and help us all _not_ drown.' Either way, I had to climb the mast and hoist the sails while groggy, and get so goddamned waterlogged, I doubt my clothes will ever get dry.

When I finally make it back to my room, I strip from my soaked attire, and change into something much, much dryer. Then, I carefully inspect each of my blades, ensuring that they weren't in danger of rusting from the massive amount of water that had been pelting it throughout the storm. "Why did we come to this godforsaken sea again?"

"MESHI!" My idiot captain roared as lunch was announced as prepared.

"Oh, that's right, because the _captain_ said so…" I growl in annoyance as I head outside again to make it to the dining hall. Only to notice that the storm had completely evaporated, and it was again peaceful… Have I mentioned how much I _hate_ this sea? Perhaps I'm just annoyed for missing my midday nap, so maybe some food, and a bit of criticism towards the damn ero-cook will raise my spirit.

I entered the dining hall only to notice that the captain had already eaten half of the food… I swear, for every once stronger he had gotten during the two years we were separated, his appetite doubled. Once I'm seated, I take a plentiful serving of everything at the table, knowing I might not even be able to eat half of it before it's gone.

One bite, one fucking bite, and my stomach lurches. I spit out the burnt meat in disgust. "What the hell is this curly brow?" I seethe.

"Well, it's _your_ problem for coming late that you get the worst piece of meat marimo! Take what you get, and be thankful that it's not my foot up your ass!" Sanji retorted in anger of his cooking being insulted.

"Well, someone's in a bad mood, did you not get enough beauty sleep, cook?"

"Like you're one to talk shitty bastard." He replied. I simply grunt in reply, too hungry to argue, only to notice, not only is my _entire_ plate missing, but all of the food on the table was gone as well.

"Ah, that was good!" Luffy sighed happily as he patted his overly stuffed gut. "Usopp, let's go fishing. I wanna catch a swordfish!" He claimed eagerly.

"Please, I'll catch a cannon fish that'll blow your swordfish away!" Usopp claimed in mock pride.

"Wow! Really Usopp?" Chopped cocked his head to the side in wonder. Engaging the sniper in another, oh so rousing round of made up bullshit, which I wasn't in the mood for today. I simply rise from my seat, and storm out of the room.

To help ease my mind of the building stress from a less than satisfactory day, I set myself on cleaning my swords, ensuring that they're in top condition if we were to run into a rival pirate crew, or worse, Mihawk.

Hours later, my swords are once again, spotless, polished, and as sharp as ever. And as I admire them, I see in their reflection, Robin is behind me, reading another book under the tree, looking ever so peaceful, though I know exactly how dangerous she can be when evoked. Suddenly, without warning, the wind picks up again, Nami appears from her map making to announce "The air pressure just dropped again, we have another storm on our hands! Be ready!"

And again, it hits so suddenly, but this time, not with wind, or rain, but with a wave, a large wave from behind. The ship begins to rock, causing Robin to look up from her book. I begin to sheath my swords, but the wave comes, and splashes over the deck faster than expected. As the water flows past, I quickly jump and latch on to the tree to avoid being carried away, right next to Robin, who is also securing herself, however, the Wado Ichimonji is carried away and flows right off the deck.

"Shit!" I cry out as I remove my swords from my person, and lay them next to Robin before I jump into the water, swimming franticly to retrieve my sword. Going deeper, and deeper, the water grows colder, and colder. I finally reach my sword, just as I'm beginning to feel my lungs burn from lack of oxygen.

As I return to the surface, and climb back onto the deck, I notice Robin is still fastened to the tree by several of her appendages, however, my other two swords are **gone!** "What the hell?"

"They fell off deck while you were swimming." Robin replied calmly. "I was a bit preoccupied… My book was beginning to blow away."

My brow twitched as I felt my sanity begin to crack. I quickly lodge my sword in the tree and begin diving again, even deeper than before… I felt the frigid waters chill me to my bones, and my lungs nearly explode as I finally retrieve both swords. I frantically struggle my way back to the top, gasping for air as I finally break through.

Once I'm again back on deck, I check to make sure the Wado Ichimonji is exactly where I left it, which it was. However, Robin was missing. Suddenly I hear chatter erupting from the aquarium… It appears that the storm had again disappeared. I replace my swords to their sheaths, and place them to my side. I walk into the aquarium room, and just glare at Robin, who remained unresponsive to my entrance. The rest of the room, though, had grown quiet, and stared at me.

"Zoro, you're wet." Luffy broke the silence… And that was the last straw, I cracked.

"_**You**_" I growl towards Robin. "Why didn't you grab my swords when they were being swept away? You have _plenty_ of hands!"

"I told you I was busy making sure my book didn't get ruined." She replied in the same, calm voice as before.

"Oh, come **on!** The least you could have done would have been to make them levitate!" I roar. The rest of the room looks at me in confusion.

"Robin can't make things floa-" Nami begins; I throw her the finger to let her know what I think of her opinion.

"The first time we met, back on Whiskey Peak, you made things levitate, _how,_ I don't have a damn clue, because your power is to make your arms and legs sprout like fucking weeds!" I'm screaming now.

Robin stands up in response. "Are you questioning my abilities?" She asks.

"Yes, you know what? **Yes I am!**_**"**_ I shout out.

"Don't. Question. **Oda!**" She glares me down, and before I know it, I'm being backhanded by hundreds of hands, coming out of nowhere, hitting me in all different directions. I quickly become dazed, and disoriented, falling to the ground.

"Gah! I don't even believe in Oda!" I shout out.

And it echoes…

All across the room…

Over, and over, and over again, eerily.

Then, all of the crew members stand over me… None of them looking me in the eye. They all gather around me… Then, before I know it, they're holding me down… Chopper stands over me…

'G-guys? What are you doing?" I ask… Unable to throw all 7 people off. Chopper fishes a needle out of his pocket. "Chopper? What are you doing?"

"It's ok… I'm a doctor." He says, in the most disturbing tone possible. Is the last thing I hear before I'm injected with some substance or other, and fall unconscious…

* * *

><p>When I wake up, I'm outside… And I'm laying on something hard… As my vision clears up a bit more, I notice the crew is standing around me, none of them speaking… but there's someone else… A woman with long black hair, and dark eyes standing over me, in a… Dominatrix outfit… Why. Does. Life. Hate. ME? Once more of my senses are regained, I notice a few things… Like how my hands are being held down by two of Robin's hands, only they're about 20 times the size of Robin. And, most disturbingly, my legs are being held apart by my swords, and if I were to twitch a bit too much, the blade of my third sword would pierce my scrotum… Seriously, this is by far, the WORST. DAY. EVER!<p>

"You, unrefined man, are a non-believer of the one, mighty creator of all, Oda!" She spoke with Regal, looking so far down her nose, that she was staring into the sky… Or something like that, maybe she was just stupid.

"Big whoop." I reply in annoyance.

"Now, You pay the price! Who is the all powerful deity?"

"Oda!" Chants the crew.

"Who is the creator of all the seas, and designer of the destiny of pirates?"

"Oda!" They chant again… How long will this go on for?

"Then, oh mighty one, please reveal to this non-believer, your undeniable power!" The woman calls up to the sky… And I wait for a minute, to see how long they would all stare at the sky, because obviously, nothing was going… to… happ… en.

The clouds grew dark, and from them, a gigantic hand, wielding a pencil began to descend… Eraser pointing directly towards me. I feel all color drain from me… No, literally, I've suddenly become a black and white sketch of some sort… And the eraser draws closer… and closer… and CLOSER… And I swear, I could hear music…

I find it kinda funny…

I find it kinda it kinda sad…

The dreams in which I'm dying…

Are the best I've ever had…

I find it hard to tell you…

I find it hard to take…

When people run around in circles…

It's a very, very…

Mad World.

"No! No! NOOOOO! I Believe, I swear to Oda I believe now! No! No! NOOOOOO!" I cry out in despair, but the eraser doesn't cease its movement, it only grows closer, until finally…

* * *

><p>"And that's why you <strong>never<strong> question Oda… EVER" Nami instructed to her children, Monkey D. Ace & Monkey D. Umi. Both children looked up to their mother, who was seriously scary at the moment, with wide eyes.

"You're mother's right kids, why do you think you never met Uncle Zoro? Now say your prayers and go to bed." Luffy called out to them from the other room. Both children quickly scampered to their beds, and kneeled over them, bowing their heads and frantically praying to Oda.

Luffy came in, and slung an arm around his wife. "Well, I think they're both safe now honey. He smiled.

"Good… Because, if they don't believe in Oda…" Thunder cracked in the distance. "Well, you know." She smiled. "A life without Oda is a very Mad World."

* * *

><p>So, you think you have bad days? You have NOTHING on Zoro... The song lyrics in here are from the song Mad World by Gary Jules. Give it a listen, and feel Zoro's despair... FEEL IT. This isn't my best work, but leave a review anyway, and let me know what you think! I'm eager to hear your oppinions on my crack humorwrongful sadistic torture. =D Also, I've been through all sorts of one Piece arguments, but never once have I ever had another person comment on Robin levitating things, am I really the only one who noticed? Or does no one really care that Robin has telekinesis and chooses to not use it?


End file.
